Thursday, April 06, 2006 @6:47 PM
hey. (:
hvn updated for a long time. but after this, soon, i guess i will be able to update more often. Coz i have taken the withdrawal form for third lang. this was a tough decision i made. pls dont argue with me first. hear me out. i have been freaking out since february. But after hard thoughts, i decided to give myself a second chance to prove that i could cope. But on monday, after guitar, i suddenly had this thought: why am i doing this? do i still have the interest, and do i still have the time, or am i just doing this because i think it is better to take a third language? Would a third language benefit me? or would i just quit it anw sometime soon? Would i use it often when i go further into life? or would i just forget about all my french and let 6 years of lessons go to waste? i really know that i didn't not have the good foundation to build up on my french. from sec 1, i didn't really start out well. i knew that even given time, i would not be able to commit myself to do well. and apart from that, i still have guitar, library, and maths thing on saturday. i come home too late. my mum is stressed to see me stressed. sometimes, i just end up breaking down and crying at night, at 1 am, when i am trying to complete my work. i am very tired. i don't understand the meaning of studying anymore. why do i have to study so hard when someday, we will all leave this earth and commit ourselves into God's hands? studying is important, but it is really so neccessary to excel and do so well in everything? must i be perfect? i know, many pple want to have such gift of knowledge and all, but really, what is the meaning of it all?
i donno. i am quitting french. it will give me more space to breathe and relive my life. i would be able to commit myself more to my studies, guitar, and library. or maybe i should quit library too. since it is just a merit cca. what's the point? maybe i should just quit RGS altogether.