Sunday, April 30, 2006 @2:47 PM
summatives. bleargh
am i so dead or what. somehow, the teachers this year seem to be so so so GOOD. hah! like real. mugging for geog now. or actually it is not really revising. if you hvn learnt a topic yet, can it still be comsidered REVISING? it should be learning right? wow, like learning geog topics 2 days before the exams. can i not be stressed or what? seriously. 哈哈我能以华文来打字！我是个聪明的孩子！eh, ok, so ego. nvm. ><
i think i should seriously go and mug now. although it is really kinda stressful, i know there are many mundane things that are actually making my day! (:
<333!
Friday, April 21, 2006 @6:07 AM
hey! (: i am really high now. my brain is like clear and i can think. ever since i was "RELEASED" from library, i have been superly happy. dear A*arji* said on thursday that i was free and "RELEASED". wth, so you mean that when i am with freaking library, i am tied down, and when i quit, i am FREE AND RELEASED? HELLO?! what are you treating me as? a prisoner? of library? i can so tell that library cca is going to die off soon... due to a CERTAIN person.
anw, now that i don't stay back on wednesday and friday, i am SO happy. (: i can practically see myself WALKING home, and not dragging my tired and dead corpse instead. i can see the purpose of learning, of going to school, and i really feel that i am living a LIFE. before this, i stayed back EVERYDAY, and came home only after 6. by then, i would eat, bathe, do hw, and then it would alr be 12mn or 1 am. yeah, and i would become a walking zombie. what peiling said is true, less committments is better. at least i can focus on doing well in whatever i am doing.
ah shucks, all the sas are coming le. geog, science, maths, chinese, lit, and history and english pt due next week. bahh, i can so tell that we are screwed for lit. what happens when you mix a lousy student with a LOUSIER lit teacher (ie. Ms Ng S*** L***)? i get a certain me failing all my lit of sec 2. HAH. and it's not all my fault. :D. no that's not really something happy.science, i don't really get the last part of the module, but i guess it's only a little bit of clarification. maths was not really ok, i couldn't understand graphs, but i guess, i can sort of understand now. geog is just xl. thick stacks of notes that i can't understand. chinese forget it, i am not talking. but it will all turn out fine, i guess. it's a long post, i should go do my homework and HISTORY PT now. must remember to do. (X
BYE AND I LOVE EVERYONE! I AM SO HAPPY!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 @11:22 PM
hello! (: i was contemplating turning off the computer when i suddenly felt very very very happy, and i decided to post to remind myself of this wonderful moment.
I just felt that i could be in control of things, suddenly. The quitting stuff really helped. THANK YOU everyone, for not ignoring my questions on whether i should drop my committments and stuff. THANKYOU! i feel like there is a great load on my back that has been lifted off. (X and i can now concentrate on where i am walking, and not what i am carrying. yay.
i hope that after all this stuff, i can cope with school work better, and adopt a more positive attitude towards studying and all. instead of learning for the purpose of taking exams, i really want to learn for the purpose of learning and getting knowledge. i hope i can find my true passion, and really put effort in enjoying everything that i do.
THANK YOU to everyone who stood by me. (:
TO DADDY (if you are reading this) : hello! hope you're fine! don't work TOO hard, kae? take care and duo duo bao zhong! see ya soon! XD LOVE YA LOADS!
TO MUMMY: THANK YOU for helping me sort my life and put stuff in order again. thank you for helping me make the right decisions, and giving the support all the way. (: LOVE YA LOADS!!!
ok this sounds like some love declaration. >< haha, i am really feeling very happy now. i think this is the first post in a long long time that i sound so happy. in the past weeks, i think i have been beng kui-ing.
Thursday, April 13, 2006 @4:44 PM
would i believe myself if i told myself that i had actually decided to quit library?! i really dont know. i guess it's because i am lazy, and i want more time to do my work, instead of trying to concentrate at 1 am in the morning. i really dont know. and no one would read all this blabber anw, since i bet no one actually bothers to come here. sigh. why is my life is fickle minded? and why am i so influenced by others? really, my decision to quit all lies in my hands, and yet i still ask around, and make myself more confused. am i that... that... i donno. arh sigh. i hvn handed in the library withdrawal letter yet, so i guess i can still think and sort out my thoughts, but most likely, i would quit. make my life more meaningful, by being able to concentrate on what i am doing, instead of putting too many things on my plate now, and trying to balance the heavy load as i walk on. i will fall one day, and everything on the plate would fall. so why not just remove some and walk more with more confidence? what crap...
Sunday, April 09, 2006 @3:10 PM
sometimes, don't you suddenly become at a lose. when you just don't know what to do next. you start on sometime, then stop, then go on, then stop again. it's just so weird.
the next moment, you are suddenly jolted back into reality and you just realise that you have so many other things to do, and there you are, just stoning away.
then there is this 24 hours is never enough. bahh
ora was fuN!(X i drank too much liquid, i think, i couldn't swallow down any lunch due to the excessive amounts of water that filled my stomach. XP it was so so crowded! and guitar booth was doing a roaring business! wheessxxzz...PICK A PICK! $1 and you can win an MP3 PLAYER!!! haha...only that SO SAD...! library booth, which was NEXT TO guitar booth, had to close down due to lack of business. so nan wei qing okay...both also my cca, then one do so well, the other have to close down. RJC is nice lorh...(: new and everything, green black and white.
yay, i finally got make contact with a old friend! (: mildred from chij kellock de...haha, very happy, coz i never got a chance to speak to them for like 5 years liao. ><
i am addicted to the song "by now" by the campus superstars...hehheh...anyone have that song can please send to me? thanks!
Thursday, April 06, 2006 @6:47 PM
hey. (:
hvn updated for a long time. but after this, soon, i guess i will be able to update more often. Coz i have taken the withdrawal form for third lang. this was a tough decision i made. pls dont argue with me first. hear me out. i have been freaking out since february. But after hard thoughts, i decided to give myself a second chance to prove that i could cope. But on monday, after guitar, i suddenly had this thought: why am i doing this? do i still have the interest, and do i still have the time, or am i just doing this because i think it is better to take a third language? Would a third language benefit me? or would i just quit it anw sometime soon? Would i use it often when i go further into life? or would i just forget about all my french and let 6 years of lessons go to waste? i really know that i didn't not have the good foundation to build up on my french. from sec 1, i didn't really start out well. i knew that even given time, i would not be able to commit myself to do well. and apart from that, i still have guitar, library, and maths thing on saturday. i come home too late. my mum is stressed to see me stressed. sometimes, i just end up breaking down and crying at night, at 1 am, when i am trying to complete my work. i am very tired. i don't understand the meaning of studying anymore. why do i have to study so hard when someday, we will all leave this earth and commit ourselves into God's hands? studying is important, but it is really so neccessary to excel and do so well in everything? must i be perfect? i know, many pple want to have such gift of knowledge and all, but really, what is the meaning of it all?
i donno. i am quitting french. it will give me more space to breathe and relive my life. i would be able to commit myself more to my studies, guitar, and library. or maybe i should quit library too. since it is just a merit cca. what's the point? maybe i should just quit RGS altogether.